'We have not had sex since the dog came into our lives': when pets affect human relationships
From prophetic pooches to clingy cats, Guardian readers share tales of how pets have influenced their love lives, for better and worse
Pets and Relationship Success
While humans have kept domesticated animals for tens of thousands of years, the influence of pets on intimate relationships is becoming more evident. Pets can have a profound impact on relationship success, whether by enriching, sabotaging, or alerting us to potential red flags. The stories shared by Guardian readers highlight the various ways in which pets have influenced their love lives.
From judging character to strengthening bonds, these anecdotes provide insight into the unique role that pets play in our relationships.
Green Flags and Red Flags
Pets often act as reliable judges of character. In one story, a woman's dog peed on her bed when her partner exhibited forceful behavior towards the dog. This incident prompted the woman to reconsider the man's compatibility with her and ultimately led to their breakup. On the other hand, pets can also strengthen relationships. One reader shared how their partner organized a professional pet photoshoot as a birthday gift, showcasing the deep understanding and love they had for the reader's dogs.
In another heartwarming story, a reader highlighted how their partner's caring and considerate behavior towards their cats reassured them of their partner's compassionate nature. Even years later, these small acts of kindness continue to affirm their choice of a caring partner.
Pets: Bringing People Together
The stories also highlight how pets can bring people closer. In one amusing tale, a former colleague asked to meet a reader's cat after a night out together. This unexpected request turned out to be a touching moment as the cat instantly won their hearts and strengthened their connection.
For some individuals, pets become the anchor of a relationship. One reader admitted that the only thing they had in common with their long-term partner was their shared love for their dog. Even after the dog's passing, they struggled to find common ground and eventually went their separate ways. In another case, meeting a partner's dog sealed the deal for a reader, solidifying their relationship for the past 12 years.
Pets: A Source of Conflict
While pets can bring people together, they can also create challenges and conflicts. In some instances, partners' different attitudes towards hygiene and cleanliness, specifically regarding pet care, can strain a relationship. One reader ended a relationship after realizing their partner's lack of cleanliness and poor hygiene habits, which extended to the care of their dog. Similarly, incompatible sleeping arrangements due to a pet's presence can also cause discomfort and potential strain on a relationship.
In some cases, pets become a source of tension between partners. Allergic reactions to pets can complicate living arrangements and require compromise. In other situations, the dilemma arises when a partner refuses to share a bed with a pet, leading to the need for separate sleeping spaces. These conflicts can create uncertainty about the future of the relationship and the role pets will play in it.
